The Zygote Crystal

What do we know about the Zygote Crystal on Earth in the 23rd Century?. Well, first off its a crystal – there’s a clue in the name. Beyond that though, our knowledge is a bit fuzzy, to say the least.

We believe that the Zygote Crystal appeared on Earth in Jurassic times and helped the Mud Lizards, a civilisation that has since warred with Earth, escape the consequences of the Chixulub Impactor. This meteor, of course, led to the devastation of Earth at the time and the demise of the dinosaurs.

Had it not been for the intervention of the Zygote Crystal, it would also probably have been the end of the Mud Lizards. Earth folklore tells us that the Zygote Crystal has the capability to massively accelerate the evolution of a species. It somehow came into the possession of the Mud Lizards on Earth in the Jurassic period and facilitated them to develop into the dominant species of the time.

They were able to make technological advances very rapidly and built a spaceship to escape Earth before the meteor hit. They, therefore, became the first beings from Earth in space, gazillions of years before Albert the Rhesus monkey made it in 1948. Having escaped Earth, they settled on the planet Plasmolidium and the rest, as they say, is (more) history.


Magenta Moons Coalesce above Siluria

Astronomers from the planet Siluria, joined by colleagues from the Inter-Galactic Observatory, have been monitoring a once in a megaannum event. All 3 moons of Siluria are not only at their closest to each other but also to the surface of Siluria. In addition, one of the moons, Amaranthine, is experiencing its most violent period of green and blue phosphorus volcanic eruptions seen for hundreds of years.

The resulting visual phenomenon is enabling astronomers and physicists to observe and measure complex inter-gravitational forces only identifiable because of the close proximity of all 4 celestial bodies.

It’s not only scientists showing an interest though. Tourists are as well and Virgin Galaxy Tours have transported over 12,000 people from Earth to various observatories on and around Siluria to witness the spectacle.

Da-Hah-Winian Rabbit

This isn’t actually a rabbit at all. A rabbit, as we all know, is furry, has long floppy ears and hops. A Da-Hah-Winian rabbit is furry, but walks on all fours and has quite small pointy ears. It never, as far as anyone has ever observed, hops.

Native to the planet Kimkadia, Da-Hah-Winian rabbits are actually called Blijars on Kimkadia. Adopted quickly as pets by early Earth visitors to Kimkadia, some were brought back to Earth and became very popular with children. However, the name Blijars didn’t knock the socks off marketing companies who  came up with the name ‘Da-Hah-Winian Rabbit’ because:

a) Kimkadians learning Earth language tended to call everything that wasn’t human or a Kimkadian a rabbit because rabbits were pets that the first astronauts landing on Kimkadia had with them

b) The very first ‘contact’ Kimkadia had with Earth was via a ‘greetings capsule’ that had entered the Kimkadian atmosphere in the early 22nd Century. That contained a slightly corrupted aircast that referred to Darwinian theory, but unfortunately gave the impression that Darwin was God and therefore the creator of all species on Earth.  This led to Kimkadians adopting phrases like ‘Great Darwin’ or ‘Good Darwin’ whenever they tried to express surprise in English. In addition, they took for some reason to greeting new humans with the phrase ‘Praise be to Darwin’ and then eventually preceding almost every sentence with the same.

c) Finally, Kimkadians constantly introduced ‘Hah!’ into almost every phrase or sometimes every Earth word they spoke. This not only led to Da-Ha-Win but also Da-Ha-Winian. It also made Kimkadian conversations very long and tedious.

Anyway, out of all that the marketing experts came up with Da-Ha-Winian rabbit, a pet now popular as much on Earth as Kimkadia.

Planet X

Planet X is a deeply mysterious place in the Universe. First discovered around 2085 by the Virgin Galaxy Deep Space Probe, no ‘being’ from Earth has ever actually been there. This is partly because Planet X keeps changing its celestial position quite markedly but primarily because it is shrouded in thick gaseous clouds. To this day even the composition of those clouds remains largely unknown and no space probe that has entered the planet’s upper atmosphere has ever returned intact. Planet X is now followed through the cosmos by Virgin Beacons that denote it as a ‘no-go’ area.

On occasion ships passing near to Planet X have received communication signals, strongly suggesting the existences of some advanced civilisation. Three manned missions have all ended in apparent disaster, with each ship disappearing and none of the astronauts ever being seen or heard of again.

The one exception was the Locator 27 space probe, that returned some biological matter to it’s orbiting mother ship. DNA subsequently extracted from this sample led to the birth of the now famous hybrid, Joosthava X Minot.


The Faxons really were a quite charming people and were the other principal civilisation on the planet Zizzdum. They had a sense of smell that was many times more sensitive than domestic dogs on Earth. They had little else in common with dogs, however, walking on 2 legs as well as liking cats, keeping them as pets once the first Earth settlers introduced felines to Zizzdum.

The Faxon sense of smell was so great that they could detect rare minerals and elements in very small quantities. As a consequence, they could command significant salaries working for Earth-based mining companies. Whilst Faxons could speak to each other, and to humans, they often preferred to communicate silently among themselves through releasing odours from their com-gland, situated just behind their ears.

This method of communication, whilst very effective, could become very confusing at dinner parties where humans might unintentionally be releasing their own ‘gaseous’ signals. There was many an embarrassing moment at early official banquets on Zizzdum when Earth ambassadors inadvertently said something rude or on occasion, made a pass at a female Faxon through natural bodily functions that had been activated by the excellent though wind inducing Faxon cuisine.


Commssters were one of 2 principal races living on the planet Zizzdum, the other being the Faxons. Commsters were quite gentle humanoid beings and possessed quite remarkable telekinetic powers. Their heads were very large, to accommodate the rather large brain that they had and they had very long arms that almost could touch their equivalent of toes with little bending required. They loved to flap their arms about in a very animated fashion when communicating, a characteristic that had the first human explorers resort to wearing protective headgear to avoid getting unintentional, but hard, slaps around the back of the head.

With their telekinetic powers, they could control the movement of objects and make them disappear and re-appear at will. Though generally quite shy, Commssters loved the fact that early human visitors were so enthralled by their little tricks. Due to this, they developed a number of magic acts to entertain settlers from Earth on Zizzdum. A handful of Commssters have, in the years that they have been in contact with humans, become confident enough to offer traveling shows that visit outposts and space stations across the universe. They looked resplendent in their glittery clothes and pointy magic hats.

The Commssters have no name for themselves and no one is sure anymore why they are called Commssters . It is believed that the name derives from the first Commssters who tried to speak Earth language, inviting settlers into their shows with loud cries of ‘Come Sir’. They called all humans ‘Sir’ as Commssters were a) gender neutral and preferred short words where they could get them. However, their somewhat guttural interpretation of Earth language made it sound like Commsster. Well, at least that’s what my Great-Granny used to tell me and she knew a heck of a lot more than Cosmopedia about the old days.

I was also told by an old friend that they were called Commssters because they made people laugh at the way they communicated animatedly without actually saying anything and had a habit of bringing their hands, at the end of their very long arms, up to each side of their mouths and making clicking noises as their hands moved, reminding people of hamsters. Actually, thinking about it that sounds a bit more like kangeroos than hamsters. Maybe I’ll propose a name change to the Inter-Galactic Panel for the Naming of Extra-Terrestrials from Commssters to Kangeroosters!! Or maybe not……

Mud Lizards

These creatures are a scourge on humanity – there’s no other way to describe them. Well actually there is. They are ugly, nasty, foul, cruel, stupid, slimy, smelly creatures whose sole purpose seems to be to take over Earth with increasingly complex plots. They also hate me. Unbelievable. Just because, on occasion, whilst saving rat Cat’s skin I may inadvertently have thwarted one or other of their stupid plans.

mud lizard

First on the Play Planet and then at Dinosaur Skyland I’ve had to deal with them interfering in my life. Cat has been little help, constantly refusing to help protect me from them. Honestly, at times I could believe he was in league with them.

Mud Lizards had first been encountered on a deep space mission in the middle of the  7th decade of the 21st Century, on the planet Plasmolidium in the star system Trappist-1. Actually, I believe the planet was supposed to be called Plasmodium because the explorers who first landed there found something very similar to the malaria parasite on Earth, that had been eradicated on Earth yonks ago. However, when the planet was registered, the official filling out the inevitable form forgot to turn on his audio spellcheck and well, the rest is hystery as they say…..

Anyway,  a few years later in 2170, when a heavily populated Earth ship landed on Plasmolidium, it was discovered that something much bigger lurked under the mud flats on the planet – the Mud Lizards. These fairly advanced (though as I wrote above, revoltingly ugly) creatures ate almost all of the humans who were on the ship and sent 2 survivors back to Earth with a message carved on their foreheads. The message was fairly short (obviously as it was on 2 foreheads) and basically was a declaration of inter-stellar war. Essentially, the first fight was a draw but then a few years later we won the second big fight and Mud Lizards wound up being quarantined on the planet Amora. Which is where I wish they would stay!!