RARSP (the Rapid Alien Response Space Patrol) was noteworthy as a dumping ground for senior military personnel who, for whatever reason, could not be sacked for incompetence. That was until the Mud Lizard war of 2170 when General Xplozhen exposed their most senior staff as total misfits, incapable of filling the role of senior officers in war.
Of particular concern to Xplozhen had been Captain’s Krik and Noslen. Krik it turned out was addicted to the Class Alpha drug Orphium and during the war on the Moon with the Sequestrans had shot several of his own men, who he mistook as aliens whilst on a high. He was locked up when he started to believe he was a unicorn.
With Noslen things were even worse. His incompetence in the field on the Moon led to him blowing up an entire platoon of the troops he was responsible for. He blew himself up at the same time but survived. Unfortunately, he was mentally affected by the experience and subsequently drifted between relative lucidity and moments when he believed he was the Greek God Poseidon.
He was finally relieved of all duties when he slapped General Xplozhen at a briefing after the General tried to drink a glass of water, claiming that the General was stealing his property. After Xplozhen’s intervention RARSP was totally revamped and became the key inter-planetary fighting force it is today.
Whilst exploring Plasmolidium in 2170 Captain Dougal McBeckHam, who led the crew of the Explorer 237, was attacked by giant insects described at the time as mega-mosquitoes.
Part biological and part artificial, the mosquitoes were both a food source for the Mud Lizards and a weapon that the Mud Lizards could use to attack their enemies. The individual mosquitoes were fierce enough but they could also act as a collective, merging together to form a significant fighting machine.
The mega-mosquitoes were also co-incidentally, carriers of the common Plasmodium parasite found on Earth, and when the Captain was attacked he became infected with that parasite and contracted malaria as a consequence.
Much worse, was the use of the mosquitoes by the Mud Lizards to deliver a virus to Earth designed to devastate the human population. Their use of a biological weapon, at the end of the first significant space battle between Mud Lizards and Earth ships, almost succeeded. Without the intervention of Azz-Lex it would have been very likely that human life on Earth would have completely ended.
What does eMDaDD stand for? I had no idea myself until Cat told me it was Electronic Matter Dissolution and Display Device. What a mouthful!. Anyway, an eMDaDD is basically a system that can move inanimate or animate objects from one physical location to another in a flash. Well, actually there is no flash as such – it is just quite quick.
On Earth in the early 23rd Century, a system called Fastmove had been developed. Stimulated by a 20th Century sci-fi series which I believe was called Star Trick (well that’s what it says on Cosmopedia), though Cat maintains it was called Star TREK (but what does he know?). Anyways, Fastmove on Earth never really got perfected. In fact, it turned out to be unusable. Tested on humanoid robots and laboratory animals, one could never be certain that all limbs and other body extremities would re-materialise in the same place as they were originally on the object being moved. Naturally, humans (and especially politicians) were not too keen to use this technology if there was a chance their backside could re-appear where their elbow used to be.
Enter the Mud Lizards, who I’ve always considered to be a bunch of basically quite ‘thick’ lizardy type things. Turns out they’re quite smart and developed a device with Fastmove capability. Not only that but, as their dastardly plots show in our adventures, they also added to Fastmove the capability to change the shape of an object so that it closely resembled another. In the most extreme case, a Mud Lizard is able to re-materialise in almost perfect human form. Only when the Mud Lizard in human form flicks out its slimy tongue and grabs you sloshily by the throat do you realise that you are not face to face with a fellow being.
What slimeballs these Mud Lizards are!!!!
These creatures are a scourge on humanity – there’s no other way to describe them. Well actually there is. They are ugly, nasty, foul, cruel, stupid, slimy, smelly creatures whose sole purpose seems to be to take over Earth with increasingly complex plots. They also hate me. Unbelievable. Just because, on occasion, whilst saving rat Cat’s skin I may inadvertently have thwarted one or other of their stupid plans.
First on the Play Planet and then at Dinosaur Skyland I’ve had to deal with them interfering in my life. Cat has been little help, constantly refusing to help protect me from them. Honestly, at times I could believe he was in league with them.
Mud Lizards had first been encountered on a deep space mission in the middle of the 7th decade of the 21st Century, on the planet Plasmolidium in the star system Trappist-1. Actually, I believe the planet was supposed to be called Plasmodium because the explorers who first landed there found something very similar to the malaria parasite on Earth, that had been eradicated on Earth yonks ago. However, when the planet was registered, the official filling out the inevitable form forgot to turn on his audio spellcheck and well, the rest is hystery as they say…..
Anyway, a few years later in 2170, when a heavily populated Earth ship landed on Plasmolidium, it was discovered that something much bigger lurked under the mud flats on the planet – the Mud Lizards. These fairly advanced (though as I wrote above, revoltingly ugly) creatures ate almost all of the humans who were on the ship and sent 2 survivors back to Earth with a message carved on their foreheads. The message was fairly short (obviously as it was on 2 foreheads) and basically was a declaration of inter-stellar war. Essentially, the first fight was a draw but then a few years later we won the second big fight and Mud Lizards wound up being quarantined on the planet Amora. Which is where I wish they would stay!!