Government closes Hera

Government securities forces have completed the evacuation of the independent aircity Hera, as Earth’s commission for the safe use of AIs struggles to bring the city’s core AI under control.

Hawkins, the artificial intelligence that has managed all of the city’s services and amenities for nearly a decade, suddenly decided to ignore instructions just over one week ago. In a series of bizarre decisions, Hawkins closed shops early, stopped traffic and started to deliver goods and services no one had ordered or wanted.

In order to mitigate risks to public safety Earth’s government has taken charge of the city, insisting on the evacuation in order that Cortex can investigate and determine what has gone wrong. Cortex manufactures the global AI control and failsafe system on behalf of Earth’s government. The independent city Hera uses a small start-up company’s control system and did so in efforts to break from strict government control.

ThinkFree, the creators of Hawkins, are claiming there is a government conspiracy aimed at putting them out of business and restore the government’s monopoly on enterprise level AI systems. A government spokesperson for the AI Minister dismissed talk of a conspiracy as utter nonsense. T

he spokesperson went on to say that the arrest of ThinkFree’s board of organisers was for their own protection.

Cortex’s Thought Assistant hits the Market

After decades of research and even longer sorting out data protection issues and fail-safe protocols, Cortex has launched their thought assistant across the planet. With a small implant in the pre-frontal cortex of the brain, anyone can now think a request for information which is then fed back to them with associated images pushed to the back of the retina.

This means that anyone can now engage in a boring conversation with another person or group of people, and not only think about something else (as they invariably do now and have done for centuries) but find answers to anything they need to know whilst wasting their time with people they don’t really want to be with.

Cortex has announced the innovation as the ‘Ultimate in Multi-Tasking’ and claim that the use of the ‘InterMix’ thought assistant will help busy professionals maintain a proper balance of social interaction with their friends and close relatives whilst coping with the pressures of work.

 

Krokus Joe

Krokus Joe was a time miner. There were only a few time miners on Earth primarily because their average lifespan was so short. You see a time miner, once qualified, could earn huge sums of money but the dangers of time mining were significant. No one really knew why for sure, but often time miners would simply disappear and never be heard of again.

President Professor Ulnada EraDay, the World’s leading authority on time in the 23rd Century, has been quoted as saying that she believed that there was an organisation of beings ultimately controlling time and they periodically would act against any time miner who risked the universe’s delicate time-balance by mining too deeply.

Anyway, Krokus Joe was now in his forties which made him unique within the profession.

An Antipodean, Krokus put his success down to a micro-mining approach that he had invented, and kept carefully secret, plus a combination of “beer, fags and incinerated meat”.

Da-Hah-Winian Rabbit

This isn’t actually a rabbit at all. A rabbit, as we all know, is furry, has long floppy ears and hops. A Da-Hah-Winian rabbit is furry, but walks on all fours and has quite small pointy ears. It never, as far as anyone has ever observed, hops.

Native to the planet Kimkadia, Da-Hah-Winian rabbits are actually called Blijars on Kimkadia. Adopted quickly as pets by early Earth visitors to Kimkadia, some were brought back to Earth and became very popular with children. However, the name Blijars didn’t knock the socks off marketing companies who  came up with the name ‘Da-Hah-Winian Rabbit’ because:

a) Kimkadians learning Earth language tended to call everything that wasn’t human or a Kimkadian a rabbit because rabbits were pets that the first astronauts landing on Kimkadia had with them

b) The very first ‘contact’ Kimkadia had with Earth was via a ‘greetings capsule’ that had entered the Kimkadian atmosphere in the early 22nd Century. That contained a slightly corrupted aircast that referred to Darwinian theory, but unfortunately gave the impression that Darwin was God and therefore the creator of all species on Earth.  This led to Kimkadians adopting phrases like ‘Great Darwin’ or ‘Good Darwin’ whenever they tried to express surprise in English. In addition, they took for some reason to greeting new humans with the phrase ‘Praise be to Darwin’ and then eventually preceding almost every sentence with the same.

c) Finally, Kimkadians constantly introduced ‘Hah!’ into almost every phrase or sometimes every Earth word they spoke. This not only led to Da-Ha-Win but also Da-Ha-Winian. It also made Kimkadian conversations very long and tedious.

Anyway, out of all that the marketing experts came up with Da-Ha-Winian rabbit, a pet now popular as much on Earth as Kimkadia.

RickRock Persona Retired – Rumours of Inappropriate Thoughts

RickRock, Earth’s highest-paid Airstar and a central character in blockbusters like Alien Expansion and Black Hole Enchantment, is in the news again. This time, his persona, on show at multiple shopping outlets, has been accused of inappropriate thinking towards shopping avatars.

Rick and his representatives issued a denial that the Persona’s thinking was in any way linked to Rick’s. Whilst investigations continue, Rick’s management team have pulled all Persona’s from public places. Neurowall, the programmers of Rick’s Persona, have declined to comment.

RickRock’s latest AirFeature, Dandelions in Nebulus 70, remains on schedule for release in early 2225.

Joosthava X Minot

This lady is something of a mystery on Earth. Definitely mostly human, Joosthava is, however, a very advanced human. Some see her as a freak of nature whilst others consider her to be an evolutionary step forward for humankind. What many don’t know is that Joosthava is a product of deliberate genetic engineering and that she contains some DNA apparently serendipitously obtained from Planet X.

With her hybrid DNA comes an interesting hybrid phenotype. Long blue hair, matched by blue teeth is only a small part of her unique set of characteristics. Her hair, apart from being blue, can be converted at will into strands of varying thickness that can be flexible enough to coil around anything, yet very hard and able to apply immense pressure. The whip-like hair structures can be formed with points that can be used like the ends of sharp spears to pierce unfortunate, but potentially deserved victims. Joosthava is a famous Mud Lizard exterminator.

In addition to being an effective killing machine, Joosthava is also imbued with a natural capability to move through space and time. No one really knows how she does this, least of all her and as a consequence, after graduating from LifeAcademy with a Higher Calibre in Time Mining, she has devoted her life since then to understand how time can best be used for the benefit of all.