Going to the Loo in Space

When I went into space for the first time (that was to Planet Pzzxamix to investigate Trebor Snosrap) I was nervous about the whole toilet thing. Extra anxious and shy about such matters, I had envisaged I would spend most flights with all relevant sphincters tightly clenched until the journey ended and I could find a proper toilet.

How relieved I was (in more ways than one) to discover the Space SaniDroid. A sort of auto-loo that allowed you to go in total privacy even with someone else effectively standing right beside you. Shielding you from all potentially embarrassing noises and odours (whether the producer of such or recipient) the SaniDroid was every nervous ‘toileter’s’ relief station.

Of course, everything happens so much more naturally on a spaceship in the 23rd Century where artificial gravity has removed the weightlessness problems associated with excretion. So the SaniDroid has no need to worry about airflows, essential for early space travelers to ‘go’ safely.

The only possible problem with a SaniDroid is linked to unlikely power failure. That has happened to me once. All the lights went out and the body permeable door to the SaniDroid disappeared leaving me potentially visible to everyone whilst engaged in duties on my throne. All would have been ok though as with the lights out my modesty was preserved until Cat showed up with a massive torch……

Cortex Investigated by Thought Commissioner

Shares in Cortex the World’s leading provider of Thought Assistants plummeted yesterday as news broke that the Government Thought Commissioner was investigating them.

Cortex marketed Intermix in late 2222. The basic Intermix unit allows users who have it implanted to manage multiple thought based conversations and collaborative tasks with others who have similarly implanted units.

A variation of the basic unit, IntermixPlus can also automatically back up a user’s private thoughts if they request this. It is understood that a ThoughtNet marketing company has been using harvested private thoughts to target promotions to users.

Cortex denies that any of their data security measures have been breached and have assured users that they have not passed on stored thoughts to any third party. It is expected that the Thought Commissioner’s investigation will last several months.

 

Space Travel Revolution?

For years deep space travel has been limited understandably by the speed possible from current hypersonic engines. Despite advances over the last century that have seen increases in the speeds possible to up to 100 times the speed of light, the basic nature of propulsion engines has not changed.

Now through the use of engines that ‘shift’ time as they work it is becoming possible to move large distances in space in a fraction of the time currently needed. Preliminary experiments conducted by Time-X, working with the engineering conglomerate e-Madgin, have used the first so-called ‘TimeDrive’ to propel a crewless satellite to Alpha-Centauri in a matter of a few hours.

A spokesperson for Time-X said, “Early results are very encouraging though it will be some time before we can be sure of the effects of the propulsion methodology on the human form.”

WarDroid Accord

Earth’s Grand Council recently ratified a new accord covering the use of artificial intelligence by arms manufacturers. The new commitment to ensuring that AI enabled weapons cannot act independently has been welcomed by all 4 major national blocs.

Both AmmoTel and GreenAid, the World’s two leading arms suppliers have backed the accord stating categorically that they will only ever use AI for clear logistical or training purposes.

The key element of the accord will  be the establishment of a new body of weapons inspectors with powers to  check and test any weapon in any country anywhere at anytime. The work of the inspectors will be enforced where necessary by a fleet of PeaceDroids developed in collaboration between AmmoTel, GreenAid and the 4 major national blocs…..

 

Space Junk

HabiTech, the home tech giant, has branched out into the space junk industry. For well over a Century Earth’s space authorities have struggled to keep pace with the build up of rubbish in space.

Their new generation of GuzzlePro devices are of course unmanned and driven totally by artificial intelligence. The rubbish swallowing capability of a single GuzzlePro in orbit around Earth will, it is projected, clear up to 100 major pieces of space junk per orbit.

Previous space clearing operations have been fraught with reliability issues with constant breakdowns. In tests though the GuzzlePro has proven very robust, drawing in and recycling all manner of debris and rubbish without issue.

Concerns that the GuzzlePro is not always able to distinguish between junk and functioning satellites have been dismissed by HabiTech as competitor propaganda.

 

Explorer 237

The Explorer 237 spacecraft is well known to historians. It was the ship that went to a previously unexplored planet in the Trappist-1 star and returned with all the crew onboard dead and mutilated. The planet concerned, previously known simply as ‘11596’ had been renamed, by the crew of the Explorer to ‘Plasmolidium’.

Unbeknown to the crew at that the time of landing, Plasmolidium was inhabited by the Mud Lizards. After months of peaceful work on the planet, that included establishing a permanent physical base on the surface, the Mud Lizard’s made their presence known. Very quickly they butchered all of the Explorer’s crew who had mistakenly interpreted their initial contact as peaceful.

Not only that, the fairly advanced Mud Lizard civilisation (technologically anyway) returned the dead bodies of the crew to Earth on Explorer 237 with a declaration of war carved into their collective foreheads. This led to the first Interstellar War.

The response from Earth’s President at the time was strong and unequivocal. His rallying cry to Earth that this atrocity would not go unpunished was what people needed to hear, though he did confuse everyone a bit by subsequently issuing thoughts on ThinQueue that seemed to associate Mud Lizards with some sort of Sino-Soviet plot. He was a distant relative of a 21st Century President, so confusion possibly ran in his genes.

Government closes Hera

Government securities forces have completed the evacuation of the independent aircity Hera, as Earth’s commission for the safe use of AIs struggles to bring the city’s core AI under control.

Hawkins, the artificial intelligence that has managed all of the city’s services and amenities for nearly a decade, suddenly decided to ignore instructions just over one week ago. In a series of bizarre decisions, Hawkins closed shops early, stopped traffic and started to deliver goods and services no one had ordered or wanted.

In order to mitigate risks to public safety Earth’s government has taken charge of the city, insisting on the evacuation in order that Cortex can investigate and determine what has gone wrong. Cortex manufactures the global AI control and failsafe system on behalf of Earth’s government. The independent city Hera uses a small start-up company’s control system and did so in efforts to break from strict government control.

ThinkFree, the creators of Hawkins, are claiming there is a government conspiracy aimed at putting them out of business and restore the government’s monopoly on enterprise level AI systems. A government spokesperson for the AI Minister dismissed talk of a conspiracy as utter nonsense. T

he spokesperson went on to say that the arrest of ThinkFree’s board of organisers was for their own protection.