Baffleberry Juice

Baffleberries were first discovered on Siluria, a small planet in the XXi Regus 7 star system. They were quickly determined by the early explorers to be essentially delicious and then by the inevitable scientists, to yield a juice with remarkable antioxidant properties. The juice, not surprisingly, rapidly became popular on Earth as a natural way to address the aging process and have a yummy drink for breakfast.

Baffleberries got their name (and the derived juice) for a number of reasons. First, it was never easy to work out when the bright green triangular shaped berries were ripe, so farming them effectively became something of an art. Not only that but from the consumer side, their flavour could vary enormously from sweet raspberry, banana-like, to something like raw onion. Consumers never really knew whether the Baffleberry juice they bought at the cloud market was going to bring a smile or a grimace to their face. However, committed Baffleberriers (members of the very popular Baffleberry club which made someone very rich) didn’t care – wrinkles were kept at bay and that was the most important thing. Silurians, in contrast, didn’t really care because they were wrinkly by nature, so Baffleberry juice was exported to Earth quite cheaply.

And finally, as if that were not enough to baffle, the juice, when refrigerated for longer than an hour, became totally invisible. This meant that you never quite knew how much you had left or worse, if you were in a rush in the morning, how much you had actually poured out into your glass!!

Molten Lava Beans

These are Cat’s favourite snack. And my goodness did they compound his wind issue, or gaseous expellation as he preferred to describe it.

Whatever, although not made of flesh and blood certain of Cat’s internal workings (God knows which) led to a serious accumulation of hydrogen sulphide which he periodically expelled (or ‘let rip’ as he again describes it) through one or other of his myriad ports. Molten lava beans exacerbated the issue and whenever he snacked on them you could guarantee that fairly quickly, especially if in a confined space with him, you would regret it.

I knew full well that Cat controlled his expellations to annoy me and as a ‘weapon’ to guarantee I treated him like the Prince he thought he was.

Where did molten lava beans originate from? They were first noted on the planet Kimcadia by early explorers who had landed there. A staple component of the Kimcadian diet, their constant ingestion by Kimcadian diplomats explained why the seats furthest away from them at official banquets were so sought after (and expensive). The history books tell us there was a similar problem at banquets held for a US President in the early 21st Century, where hot air and possible use of weapons seemed to be as much of a problem as hydrogen sulphide.


Ever since normal cars were finally banned in around 2032 due to every national leader finally accepting that global warming due to fossil fuel use was real, there had been an urgent need to find alternatives. Even the USA finally banned petroleum engine cars though one of their former Presidents (I think his name was Ronald Tramp or something like that), on his deathbed, tweeted that the USA was succumbing to a Chinese/North Korean plot.

Anyways of course at the time there were electric cars but these simply did not provide those who really liked to rush about (e.g. Presidents, movie stars (as they were called at the times) or the idle rich (as they are still called in the 23rd Century) with the thrill of fast movement.

It was only when SCSM (super conducting – super magnet) technology was perfected and became affordable in around 2030 that essentially flying cars became real. The so-called Hovercar or Hovermodule quickly became the way to travel, finally leaving good old Mother Earth roads to cyclists. This was just as well as by this time most roads had so many cycle lanes that average car travel speed in towns was a measly 5Kmh (except in the UK where they still used Mph having finally left Europe in 2072). In fact since 2025 all new roads had been built with more bicycle lanes than car lanes. All new cars from 2025 had to have special rubberised coatings that cyclists could bounce off if they accidentally hit a car as they overtook on the inside or outside. What a relief it must have been for car drivers to leave the ground and be able to drive in relative safety.


No!!. In the 23rd Century Feelplay is not a condom. It’s an entertainment technology. Condoms were replaced a long time ago with some peppermint flavoured spray you squirt on your to tongue each month to prevent conception if so desired.

Feelplay was the obvious extension of Airplay. Airplay technology had allowed humans to ‘think’ the music of their favourite artists and images of their favorite movies or plays inside their head but Feelplay gave the extra added bonus that you could actually sing on stage with your favourite Airstars or act with your favourite actresses or actors. You could even create your own storyline with Feelplay(if you were in a movie or play) to suit your mood or desire to be a hero or a baddie for example.

Feelplay was, however, even in the late 23rd Century, a premium service that was generally only affordable for the extremely well off (normally airstars strangely enough…..) although there were various pirate services that could be accessed if you knew how. Not that I do know how though the best one can be accessed at Feelplayed123.cosmos………