Eliahu and Yawtu

Eliahu looked at his partner Yawtu and said,

“Seven years we’ve been stranded on this planet and you never learn. We’re supposed to maintain our human form and blend in. Not eat them.”

“But Darling,” said Yawtu, “you said he was a dangerous star striker. I thought that meant he must be a starfighter pilot and that you’d be pleased that I tracked him down and ate him.”

“Pleased!!” exclaimed Eliahu, “of course I’m not pleased. It’s the World Cup for goodness sake and he’s the star striker for the team I drew in the lottery at work.”

“Oh,” said Yawtu, “What World Cup would that be?”

Eliahu sighed heavily and said to Yawtu, “You really have to start integrating my dear, otherwise Earth’s security forces will eventually start to suspect.”

The Bees Knees

In recent decades, hornet-like insects that were first brought to Earth inadvertently from Siluria on imported rugs, have been progressively devastating the bee population on Earth. This has had inevitable consequences on key crop production as all attempts to control the problem with pesticides have failed.

A new growth company, BusiNeeds has come up with a solution. Artificial bees. The so-called ‘Buzzar’ is an AI or mini-robot that works just like a bee, landing on flowers and leaving with pollen sacs attached to its mini robotic legs.

The Buzzar not only works like a bee but looks enough like a bee to fool the Silurian hornets into attacking them. However, when a hornet takes on a Buzzar it gets more than it bargained for, as the Buzzar’s legs are flexible and strong enough to wrap around the hornet’s body and crush it.

In just completed field trials, not only was crop pollination unaffected by the presence of hornets, but the hornet population declined rapidly, whilst at the same time the natural bee population rose markedly.

Government Lowers Age of Consent

Earth’s Supreme Court has ruled that the age of consent for Cortex’s thought assistant can be lowered to 11. This means that children can start Secondary Learning World with permanent Cortex implants in their brains.

Whilst the Cortex Implants will undoubtedly make the social elements of learning easier and more accessible, parents’ groups have already expressed grave concerns related to the addictive nature of Thought Networking.

Cortex is working on the development of Cortex adult implants that will allow parents to limit the nature and extent of the thoughts that their children can share. As the Director of the international parent support group 4Bear said recently, “It is entirely inappropriate for minors to hold private thoughts about their parents that can then potentially be syndicated across the planet. It is essential that children are limited in terms of the degree of freedom they have to share their thoughts unless these have been appropriately screened.”

Airpods

It was in the late 21st Century when SkyPad first experimented with modular airborne housing. Done at the time as a response to overcrowding in parts of Asia, the early lightweight rectangular living modules were a great success. Despite some early issues associated with waste disposal, once SkyPad adapted processes for such things exploiting technology used by space travelers, this approach to dealing with overpopulated parts of the planet became mainstream.

For years however, all pods were identical rectangular units that could be fitted together to form a floating district. Each unit however could rapidly and selectively be disconnected from the whole for maintenance or refurbishment.

A recent collaboration between SkyPad and Duplo has finally broken the architectural mould for floating districts. People can now purchase living pods in a full range of colours and shapes. This means that not everyone now needs to live in an airpod with regularly shaped rooms. The Psychological Directorate for Healthy Living has applauded this change as a major step towards addressing a range of personality disorders linked to airpod sickness that can be associated with the bland regularity of traditional airpods.

The MoATaRS

The Inspector and his colleagues’  Joosthava and Krokus Joe, and of course Cat, defeated the Mud Lizard threat to AccEvolve using the Endurance Zygote Crystal, in 2224. To do this though, Cat had to AccEvolve himself into a Giant Cat to dispense with the two Mud Lizards Yakh and Ulth and free the Inspector, Joosthava and Krokus.

On their return to Earth, the Inspector found out that Cat was now back on Planet X with the Endurance Zygote Crystal with the other GoGLEs. Cat, or Giant Cat as he now was, sent a message back to  Tax HQ to warn Earth that other aliens were coming from deep space to attack Earth in the near future.

He recommended that Tax HQ  should form a small group, that wound up being known as ‘The MoATaRS’ (Monitoring of Alien Threats and Response Squad) and comprised the Inspector, Krokus Joe and Joosthava. In addition, Cat sent back to Earth one of his children, a young black robot kitten, to grow up with the Inspector and become his new protective companion and the 4th member of the new group.

Mergers outstrip Marriage

Mergers are now officially the most popular form of recognised union between two people. In 2222, mergers made up 57% of all formal multiple-person relationships, with marriage and civil partnerships making up the balance.

In a merger, none of the partners undertakes to remain faithful to the other or others, though any key inter-dependencies like children, property, and possessions are guaranteed defined proportional support from each partner for either 5, 15 or 25 years depending upon the nature of the merger. Facilitated and managed by AdulterUS, mergers are strictly enforced. The social thought network element of AdulterUS actively supports individuals in arranging extra-merger relationships with full disclosure to all formally connected partners.

97% of couples in mergers rate their quality of life as high and consider themselves happy and fulfilled. Half of the remaining 3% are serving life sentences in state renovation centres.

Admiral Prouff

Calot Prouff had something of a chequered early career in the armed forces of the 22nd Century. Starting out, after completing at Space Cadet School, as aide-de-camp to Admiral Phiasco the Head of the Space Patrol Corp, Calot, unfortunately, found himself in a situation where he felt he needed to take a decision.

Decision making was generally frowned upon at Space Patrol Corp Headquarters. Sadly not only did Calot take a decision, he took the wrong decision. Whilst trying to quell a riot on a space station, Calot inadvertently issued a command from his desk, that led to the force sent to deal with the riot firing missiles at itself. Several troopers were blown to bits as a consequence.

Phiasco covered up the mistake to save his own skin, but Calot cracked under the pressure and was locked up for several years in a mental refurbishment utility. He was only released several years later in order to take part in a pre-planned suicide mission put together by his former boss and the Head of EarthLand Security, as part of a bigger plan to depose the then President of Earth.

Incredibly, and mainly due to the unparalleled incompetence of Calot as a military leader, the mission turned out to be a success for him. He not only saved Earth’s President but also managed to blow up his former boss. The President duly made Calot an Admiral and gave him the safest of desk jobs, leading a special battalion monitoring emissions of waste and debris from orbiting space stations.

Calot went on to merge with Valundra G’Laksey-Spryte, a member of the elite G’Laksey dynasty. He Fathered with her, Thomas Nigel G’Laksey-Prouff, now recognised as Earth’s most successful Intergalactic Tax Inspector.