The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 3.8

Oh My God – I Do Have a Tail….

With that, Cat hovered directly ahead of me, about a metre away, before projecting reflective screens all around me. I looked at myself from all angles and was stunned to see strings of drool hanging from my mouth. Worse was to ‘dawn’ on me though. As I stared at my image I could see, emerging from above what used to be my backside , a tail. Instinctively I clenched my buttocks tightly together and to my intense horror I watched as the tail drew in, then up, before gently waving about. I just stared in the mirrors, stock still, somewhat oblivious to what was now a veritable flood of drool cascading down my front.

I tried to say ‘How?” but heard “Jroukh,” or something like that.

Cat responded, seeming to clearly understand ‘Jroukh’ and saying,

“I don’t know how exactly but you are now clearly part Mudlizard. Not only do you speak their language but you drool like they do. And, whilst you could pass off the dribbling and gibberish like sounds as simply a sudden escalation of what you do normally, the tail sticking out your rear end is, I’m afraid, much harder to normalise.”

As Cat finished talking my immobility ended as panic flowed from the relevant part of my brain through to all of the extremities of my body, including my new tail. ‘My new tail’ I screamed inside my head, ‘ MY NEW TAIL!!!!!’.

To be continued………

The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 3.7

A Tall Tail……..

“What!! What!!” I retorted like a very grumpy parrot, “what are you going on about you blathering Jabbertwit.”
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“I am not a a Jabbertwit you moronic a….” Cat failed to finish his sentence as all of a sudden he sailed through the air a good 20 metres at least, before bouncing several time like a flat stone ricocheting off the surface of a pond, before coming to a stop. This obviously unexpected ‘Cat flight’ had coincided with me turning around as sharply as I could manage, given the strange mobility problems I was having.

“What happened to you?” I said to Cat, “stop mucking around or did some mysterious force throw you across whatever space we’re in?”

By now Cat was back on all fours and approaching slowly. In a voice bristling with indignation he said,

“I was not kicked by any mysterious force. There is no mystery here. Your blasted tail imparted the force that sent me flying. You’re going to have to learn to control that thing whilst I work out what’s going on.”

“Huh? What do you mean tail you, you, you…. “ I struggled for a sufficiently abusive term to use to describe Cat finally settling on ending my sentence rather lamely with,

“You creaTURE!!!!”

“That’s a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, if you don’t mind me saying,” said Cat.

“What are you on about?” I yelled.

“Well,” said Cat, “I know I have a tail but I’m a Cat. I’m supposed to have a tail. Humans are not supposed to have a tail. So I suggest that before you start calling me a ‘creature’ you take a good look back behind you and listen carefully to what’s coming out of your mouth.”

At that I froze, which wasn’t too difficult given the lumbering nature of my current movements. I looked over my right shoulder and forced my eyes downward as far as I could. I could see a metre or so of a slightly glistening and quite thick tail. It had a sharply pointed end. I then turned around clockwise  as quickly as I could, which basically required about 7 steps sideways with my right foot, whilst my left foot followed with small forward stepping movements. As I looked behind and down once having completed the turn, I realised that the tail was still there, behind me. I blinked slowly and then Cat said,

“Looks to me like you’re getting it. Let me help the dawn spread further though across that barren desert that makes up your brain.”

To be continued……..

The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 3.6

It Begins to Dawn……

“At last’” I said, “some sensible words out of that whiskered rubber ‘mush’ of yours that should get me off this thing.”

With that I tried to roll my body to the right but found I could only go sideways a little. I tried again, this time with a bit more effort, and managed to get almost onto my side, but still my body couldn’t quite fully turn and duly rocked back to its position with my back against the floor. Or rather, against the Mudlizard I should say.

“I must be glued to this ruddy Mudlizard,” I said to Cat.

“Errrrr, ummm, yes, you could say that,” he responded.

“Well don’t just hover there pointlessly. For goodness sake help me get off this thing and up,” I yelled.

“As you wish,” mewed Cat.

Cat floated down to one side of me and then pushed with all his mechanical strength to roll me over onto my front. I immediately lifted my elbows so as to be able to push against the palms of my hands to finally heave myself upward from the floor. I managed to get to my knees with some difficulty. I seemed to be a little heavier than normal. Maybe the gravity was different here to Earth? Strangely I found that if I tried to now push up with my knees so as to stand up, nothing much happened. There was real resistance as soon as I leaned backward even slightly, in any effort to be able to complete the standing up movement.

Cat moved to hover directly above me and said, “Let me help,” at which point he moved down through the air and grabbed the collar of my tunic top before thrusting upward. Somewhat unceremoniously, I thought, I was pulled to my feet though whilst finally up and vertical so to speak, I found myself having to stand with an unnaturally wide-legged stance. I couldn’t understand it but it felt like there was a heavy weight attached to my backside. Surely it couldn’t be the Mudlizard?

I tried turning my head to look behind me but found that I could barely move my neck without pain. I must have damaged it on my abrupt and somewhat hard landing at the bottom of the hole. By this time Cat had hovered to be by my side but he quickly disappeared again from view behind me.

“What are you doing back there,” I asked in an irritated tone.

“Just looking,” responded Cat, “it’s really quite amazing. You can’t see any join.”

To be continued……….

The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 3.5

Identity Crisis or What?!!

I tried to stand up but the tail wouldn’t let me and kept pulling me back. It was almost as if it was attached to me.

“Don’t panic,” said Cat suddenly, “it won’t help.”

“What do you mean don’t panic. I can’t get up. This thing, this Mudlizard, is holding me down. Or am I attached to it? I mean I can’t feel it moving. Is it dead?” I said, again in that strange gobbledegook language that Cat seemed to manage to understand. I was at this point assuming that something associated with the shock to my body as I had landed, was causing my wordsto sound the way they did to me.

“Hmmmmm,” started Cat before continuing,”it’s not dead as such.”

“Oh my God, you mean it’s still breathing,” I gasped alarmingly.

“In a manner of speaking,” responded Cat, “yes, it is breathing.”

“What do you mean,” I replied in an exasperated manner, “in a ‘manner of speaking’?”

“Well,” responded Cat, “your breathing so it’s breathing.”

“Huhhh,” I said, getting increasingly frustrated, “are you suggesting that if I were not breathing the Mudlizard wouldn’t be? I mean what? Am I so poisonous that if a Mudlizard ate me it would die?”

Cat looked at me with furrowed whiskers and said, “Your mind works in the strangest of ways. No, I was not suggesting you were poisonous to Mudlizards, though it would actually be quite handy if you were. Rather, I was trying to point out the connection.”

This explanation was no better and I made my exasperated-ness plain with an extra loud HUHHHH!!!!! To which Cat responded,

“Perhaps rather than me trying to explain further could I suggest that you roll over on to your tummy and then stand up?”

To be continued………..

The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 3

Was I now a Klingfilm?……..

As I was drawn downward, panic began to build in me. Not only was my body stretched already to what felt like at least twice it’s normal length, I was disappearing through the apparent floor of the Drome. On top of that I couldn’t actually say anything intelligible. I couldn’t even scream. ‘What was down there’? ran through my racing mind, over and over again. This was surely one of my worst nightmares.

Suddenly, my head, now feeling really long and pointed, was sucked through the floor. Everything went dark and totally silent. Oh my, I was trapped. Buried. Destined to live on, breathe on, in this isolated, immobilised state. Until of course  I starved to death. Or died of thirst. Which of those came first I thought. It was thirst. I was sure that would finish me before starvation. But how long would that take?

Suddenly I could hear again as Cat’s somewhat hissy voice spat,

“About 7 days you Splart.”

I was so pleased to learn that my auditory senses were working again. So pleased, that the fact that Cat was yet again comparing me to the only organism in the Universe thicker than an amoeba, failed to annoy me as it usually did.

I couldn’t however speak. Well, or at least it didn’t sound like I could speak normally. I was definitely trying to ask Cat what in Captain Crack’s Universe had happened but all I could hear was something like ‘Wurrghh nah Carpa Crarrgghh Ubisserghh blah harghhhh’. I wasn’t Earth’s foremost Captain Crack afficianado you understand, but it did sound a little like I was speaking Klingfilm. Or whatever that race with the rock like heads was called in the 20th Century episodes of Star Trick.

“That’s remarkably like Klingon you know,” said Cat.

“Krarghhuh,” I said in apparently near perfect Klingfilm.

“Exactly,” responded Cat, who seemed to be enjoying this. He then added,

“And if you think I’m enjoying this, you would be quite wrong.”

I began to wonder again whether his latest upgrade was allowing him to hack into my Cortex Thought Assistant. There had been so many times recently at home, when I had decided to boot his butt, that he had moved well out of booting distance before my thought had even started its journey from ‘brain to boot’.

To be continued…….

The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 2.16

That Sinking Feeling…..

As I had stepped through the entrance doors to the CombatDrome though I did feel a distinct downward pull on my body, generally everything looked fine and actually quite normal. There, right in front of me, was the floor as one might expect. Ok it was checkered, a bit like a chessboard, and made my eyes go a little funny when I first looked at it, but it did look exactly like a normal floor. However, I quickly discovered that stepping onto it was more like stepping into it.

As I put my front leg forward and my foot down, I felt my body begin to fall away from me. My right leg seemed to stretch to a very abnormal length as the floor became concave beneath my feet and also expanded in all directions, distorting the black and white squares immediately beneath me. I sensed myself being sucked into the floor as my body grew even more, extending the distance from my mouth to my feet most alarmingly. Surely, I thought, I would soon distend some part of me so much that I would break into two somewhere along my body.

As ever, my training for unexpected emergencies like this kicked in instinctively, as one would expect. Accordingly, I freaked out totally as panic engulfed me and I tried to scream ‘HELPPPPPPPPP CAAAAAT’. Unfortunately not much more than a long groaning guttural grunting noise emerged from my mouth, as my body continued its expansion and I slowly but surely sank down into the floor.

To be continued in Chapter 3……

The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 2.1

Ye Old Thames Bridge

Anyway, the Old Thames Bridge had so much history associated with it. It left me awestruck just thinking about it. Thousands of years old now, once part of AngleLand I think it was called if memory serves, the bridge was an astonishing spectacle. No longer really a bridge as there was very little need for bridges of course with hovercars and buses as the mode of travel, the bridge was a thriving mini community district in what was now the Persona consortium.

Indeed, the original need for the bridge, to cross the Old Father Thames River had long since gone. Very little water had flowed in the Thames basin for many a long year, ever since the great droughts of the 2150s and 60s. The bridge now in fact had no connection to Terra Firma, supported as it was by industrial sized hover engines. And of course the surface area of the bridge was at least 200 times greater than the surface area of the original twin towered bascule bridge. The original bridge construction was still there, and formed the glorious centerpiece of the entire construct as it now was.

That centerpiece led to the more modern but equally famous Atmosphere Avenue where very rich people had homes. Beyond the Avenue was Cumulous Circle, from which multiple footways radiated out. There were in fact 8 of these forming the so called ‘OctoMuse’. Each footway, essentially open to the elements like the original bridge centerpiece, led to a different covered RecreDome each of which had its own theme. There was the GamesDrome, the MusicDrome, the VideoDrome, the CombatDrome, the DreamDrome, the FoodDrome, the PartnerDrome and the XDrome. Most of the names were self explanatory apart from the XDrome. I had some obvious preformed ideas on what the XDrome was like, in fact had had these thoughts for some years on and off, and now was my chance to actually find out how correct my thoughts were….!

To be continued…….

The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 1.17

Cat to the Rescue?

Another familiar voice then cut through the air with the words,

“Yes, leave him alone. Abusing him is my job.”

It was Cat, hovering above me, whiskers glinting in the bright light of the room I now saw I was in. Strangely, the grunts of the Neanderthals became totally understandable English and I heard one say,

“Certainly Mr. Cat, Sir. Lads, leave him be. If Mr. Cat is prepared to vouch for him then I think we can assume he didn’t intentionally attack WPASO Candy.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” I exploded. “I didn’t touch her. Well, not much anyway. When the lights went out she screamed, obviously I know now she stabbed herself with her stylus, and then I fell on her. All very easily explained and could happen to anyone.”

At this Cat just muttered, “You moron.”

I continued angrily as I started to sit up and said to the collected ‘Neanderthals’, “ And anyway, is this how you treat all your suspects? Is this how you treat high profile visitors to your station?

One of the Neanderthals responded, “We knew you were Mr. Cat’s assistant but without him here to vouch for you we had to be assume you were just another suspect. I mean, after WPASO Candy screamed and we  found her unconscious and bleeding, what would you be think?”

I didn’t care now about the abuse. I was apoplectic at being referred to as Cat’s assistant!! What had the little ‘rat’ been saying about me in his little ‘presentations’ that he’d been giving? I now had a pretty good idea. I turned towards the little monster and shouted,

“Good grief, I thought your Father Cat was bad enough. But you are unbelievable. Does anyone on Earth understand that I am the superior and you are the minion. That I am the monkey and not the organ grinder?”

I drew breath to rant some more but before I could Carry interjected with,

“I think you need to revisit that last sentence. Not entirely sure that’s what you meant to say Chief.”

“It’s too late to ‘Chief’ me now you cat shaped bag of scrap Eesets. They were really taking the urine when they made you. But I’m gonna teach you to respect the organ grinder in this partnership. No molten lava beans for 3 months!!” I exclaimed.”NO,” I quickly added, “let’s make that 6 months!!”

“I think you are getting a little confused Chief. My Father, Cat, he was the molten lava bean junky. I’m much more into fizzy krepits if you recall?”

To be continued…….

The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 1.16

Oh Help!!

I was beginning to feel most uncomfortable and tried to say so but was told to shut up and shoved even harder, which caused me to swing in an even wider arc. I could feel wetness on my face and realised I’d peed myself. A weak bladder, especially at moments of stress had always been a problem for me, ever since I’d been chased by the Wolfcat that had lived in the sky house next to my parents place.

As more pee trickled down one side of my face, I tried to reflect positively on my situation. What had I learned that I could take away from all this once the Neanderthals had finished with me, assuming of course I was still breathing. Well one thing was of course never to accept any hovercar parts from strangers. And a second thing was never to pee whilst hanging upside down. With those two very positive actions for the future in my mind I started to sob and plead as I managed to discern, in between the grunting coming from the Neanderthals around me, phrases that  connected words like terminals and attach, with genitals. Though I have to say their word for genitals had fewer letters than genitals.

Before my sobbing could really take hold of my body, WPASO Candy appeared out of nowhere and smacked hard into the side of my body. Of course I didn’t know it was her at the time. Only after her weight, combined with mine, had caused the cable attaching my ankles to the hook in the ceiling to snap, did I realise it was her. As she lay on top of my disheveled and aching body she cried loudly,

“No, no, he didn’t touch me. I stabbed myself with my stylus when the lights went out. Leave him alone, he’s an Inspector you know.”

A lot of grunting ensued, not from me I hasten to add, as WPASO Candy finished her brief statement on my behalf. Then, as she clambered off me she said,

“What is that smell?”

To be continued……..

The Sequestran Dilemma – Chapter 1.15

Now I’m in It…….

As I awoke from my unconscious state, I realised quickly that ‘reflection’ as a process had clearly not been part of the PASO’s core training. I could not move my arms. I wasn’t sure but it felt like they were locked together behind my back. I tried to lift my head but could do little more than move my chin marginally towards my throat. I quickly realised that this was basically because I was hanging upside down. This was not the first time I’d woken up in a somewhat uncomfortable vertical position. On Jurassic Earth, when I almost single-handedly defeated the Mud Lizards’ dastardly plot to steal a Zygote Crystal, they had done something similar to me. So I kind of knew what it felt like.

I relaxed my neck and let my head slowly fall back to its full upside down vertical position. My relatively long hair dangled down and touched the floor, sweeping the hard concrete surface gently as I swung slowly like the smaller boughs of a tree in a gentle Autumn breeze. So, this was different then. The Mud Lizards had secured me firmly upside down to a post set in the ground. Here, at SKYSTATION 9572/Delta, which was where I presumed I still was, I dangled freely so to speak.

Without warning there was a significant weight against my back, followed by a hard push to the middle of my body that set me swinging back and forth. As a consequence my gentle movement across the floor became much more pronounced and I turned into a human broom, as my hair started to vigorously sweep the floor. As some giddiness started to consume me, worse followed as my body was shoved first in one direction and then another. With the successive shoves, which I quickly realised were the result of different Neanderthal boots connecting with my body in turn, I started to spin. My hair transformed from a sweeping broom to a kind of spinning brush. My, was this floor getting cleaned. Very ‘heady’giddiness really started to preoccupy my mind, replacing the thoughts of ‘why me’? that had been foremost in my head, before the swinging had started to intensify.

I really couldn’t believe how my day had deteriorated. One minute I was relaxing and drinking coffee. Then there was a gentle, easy engagement with my hovercar hobby and from that, a sometimes delightful meeting with a vision of uniformed loveliness in the fine shape of WPASO Candy. Finally though, and one might almost say inevitably, here I was, suffering physical abuse at the hands, or was it paws, of apparent ‘extras’ off the set of Planet of the Apes Reborn (again).

To be continued……