Antiques Airshow Breaks Record

The Antiques AirCast has broken a record that had stood for several decades. Previously, the single most valuable item ever displayed on the show was a pair of shoes that had previously belonged to the 22nd Century mega-movie star Mikal Doomstone.

This week’s audience held its collective breath as a so-called ‘SmartPhone’ from the late 21st Century, discovered wedged under the seat of a Concordat space module being exhibited in the Trans-National Science Park, was valued at 1 Million Karats. This is over 10 times the value of Mr. Doomstone’s shoes. The ‘SmartPhone’ displayed on the show, the MyPhone ZXZ, is thought to be one of the last 3 in existence on the planet.

For those of you who wouldn’t know a ‘SmartPhone’ from an ‘airplane’, ‘SmartPhones’ were popular for over 75 years from around 1995. They were basic communication devices about the size of someone’s hand. People would carry them around in their pockets and frequently take them out to tap away at them so as to send messages to their friends via a satellite network.

Can you Imagine how unhygienic and inconvenient that must have been!!

GoGLEs

Members of the GoGLE (Guardians of Galaxy Lifeform Evolution) sect believe that mystical beings live on Planet X. No one can be sure of this partly because no one from Earth has ever been able to land on Planet X.

galaxy

However, followers believe that ‘real’ GoGLEs have occasionally put in appearances on Earth helping to keep Earth safe from the attention of Mud Lizards, Trooks, Sequestrans and the like.

Amongst followers of the sect, the best-known and most worshipped GoGLEs are Azz-Lex and his son, Cat. Overall the GoGLEs are kindly disposed towards Earth, may have once lived there and to growing numbers of people are effectively deities.

The GoGLE movement on Earth now has over 8 billion members.

A New Generation of AIs

Artificial Intelligences (AIs) have revolutionised life on Earth over the last Century. Whether in the service industries, in interplanetary conflicts, medicine, law or indeed in the home, AIs have reduced the need for human intervention in so many activities.

A long-standing collaboration between Clone-A-Cat and AI4U has recently led to the launch of a range of domestic AI pets that owners can obtain as juveniles. This then allows owners to bond with the AI pets they acquire during the pet’s formative years.

A spokesperson for the collaborative venture told the waiting press “Whilst for years owners have been very satisfied with AI pets, this new generation of AIs provides a much better, more realistic life experience. Adult owners and children can enjoy the experience of helping their AI kittens or puppies grow to maturity.

Providing of course that they don’t manage to get run over by a speeding hovercar whilst exhibiting the kind of madcap behaviour normally associated with juveniles!

The Zygote Crystal

What do we know about the Zygote Crystal on Earth in the 23rd Century?. Well, first off its a crystal – there’s a clue in the name. Beyond that though, our knowledge is a bit fuzzy, to say the least.

We believe that the Zygote Crystal appeared on Earth in Jurassic times and helped the Mud Lizards, a civilisation that has since warred with Earth, escape the consequences of the Chixulub Impactor. This meteor, of course, led to the devastation of Earth at the time and the demise of the dinosaurs.

Had it not been for the intervention of the Zygote Crystal, it would also probably have been the end of the Mud Lizards. Earth folklore tells us that the Zygote Crystal has the capability to massively accelerate the evolution of a species. It somehow came into the possession of the Mud Lizards on Earth in the Jurassic period and facilitated them to develop into the dominant species of the time.

They were able to make technological advances very rapidly and built a spaceship to escape Earth before the meteor hit. They, therefore, became the first beings from Earth in space, gazillions of years before Albert the Rhesus monkey made it in 1948. Having escaped Earth, they settled on the planet Plasmolidium and the rest, as they say, is (more) history.

 

Cortex’s Thought Assistant hits the Market

After decades of research and even longer sorting out data protection issues and fail-safe protocols, Cortex has launched their thought assistant across the planet. With a small implant in the pre-frontal cortex of the brain, anyone can now think a request for information which is then fed back to them with associated images pushed to the back of the retina.

This means that anyone can now engage in a boring conversation with another person or group of people, and not only think about something else (as they invariably do now and have done for centuries) but find answers to anything they need to know whilst wasting their time with people they don’t really want to be with.

Cortex has announced the innovation as the ‘Ultimate in Multi-Tasking’ and claim that the use of the ‘InterMix’ thought assistant will help busy professionals maintain a proper balance of social interaction with their friends and close relatives whilst coping with the pressures of work.

 

Krokus Joe

Krokus Joe was a time miner. There were only a few time miners on Earth primarily because their average lifespan was so short. You see a time miner, once qualified, could earn huge sums of money but the dangers of time mining were significant. No one really knew why for sure, but often time miners would simply disappear and never be heard of again.

President Professor Ulnada EraDay, the World’s leading authority on time in the 23rd Century, has been quoted as saying that she believed that there was an organisation of beings ultimately controlling time and they periodically would act against any time miner who risked the universe’s delicate time-balance by mining too deeply.

Anyway, Krokus Joe was now in his forties which made him unique within the profession.

An Antipodean, Krokus put his success down to a micro-mining approach that he had invented, and kept carefully secret, plus a combination of “beer, fags and incinerated meat”.

Magenta Moons Coalesce above Siluria

Astronomers from the planet Siluria, joined by colleagues from the Inter-Galactic Observatory, have been monitoring a once in a megaannum event. All 3 moons of Siluria are not only at their closest to each other but also to the surface of Siluria. In addition, one of the moons, Amaranthine, is experiencing its most violent period of green and blue phosphorus volcanic eruptions seen for hundreds of years.

The resulting visual phenomenon is enabling astronomers and physicists to observe and measure complex inter-gravitational forces only identifiable because of the close proximity of all 4 celestial bodies.

It’s not only scientists showing an interest though. Tourists are as well and Virgin Galaxy Tours have transported over 12,000 people from Earth to various observatories on and around Siluria to witness the spectacle.