Tiresome Police Procedure
Whilst I was thinking, and before I could actually respond to the question of whether ‘I was me’, she spoke again,
“My name is WPASO Candy and I am aircasting from Skystation 9572/Delta.”
Oh good grief, she was a policewoman. Woman Peace and Security Officer (WPASO) to be precise. Now I knew for sure she would at best be rather odd, if not a complete automatonic buffoon. They were trained for years to be so and were very good at it. I decided at this point it was best to play ball so said,
“Yes, I can confirm that I am Tom Prouff.”
“Would that be Thomas Nigel G’Laxy Prouff?” WPASO Candy responded.
“Yes…..” I said in a long drawn out manner.
“Good,” said Candy before continuing, “Mr. Prouff, were you working on a Cicatrice hovercar in the hovercar bay on the 75th floor at Starling Heights earlier this morning?”
“Look, what is all this about,” I said in a rather exasperated tone.
“Please answer the question Mr. Prouff,” said Candy quite sharply. “Were you working on a Cicatrice in the hovercar bay on the 75th floor at Starling Heights earlier this morning, yes or no?”
I sighed heavily as I said “Yes,” wondering if the man in the car park had made a complaint about my battery denting his hovercar.
“Thank you,” said Candy before going on, “Whilst working on your hovercar were you approached by a tall dark man offering you an ion battery?”
“I was approached by a man but I’ve no idea really whether he was tall or dark,” I responded.
“You must have some idea what he looked like,” said Candy in a slightly surprised tone.
“No,” I said testily, “I have no idea what he was like. I hardly looked at him.”
“But this man did give you an ion battery?”, continued Candy.
“Ummm, yes, he did,” I answered.
“Well,” said Candy, somewhat triumphantly, “that ion battery was stolen. It came out of a stolen hovercar, the hovercar this man was working on.”
“Oh,” I said, “well how was I supposed to know that? And anyway, so what? It’s an ion battery not a sack of Bryllium or a dead body!! ”
“So what!! So what Mr. Prouff!! This means you are in receipt of stolen property. I am afraid you will need to bring the battery at once to Skystation 9572/Delta where I can interview you and properly establish your role in this whole affair.”
“Role in this affair!!?” I exclaimed queryingly, “I have no role in this affair. Someone gave me a battery that’s all.”
“Mr. Prouff,” said Candy, “in view of your attitude I am sending a CustodyDroid to your apartment now to escort you and the battery to the station.”
At this point, I was getting a little desperate and decided to try the ‘do you know who I am tack?’. To no avail, however, as Candy responded,
“I know perfectly well who you are Mr. Prouff and, as Earth’s leading intergalactic tax inspector, realise you are probably innocent. Nonetheless, this matter needs to be investigated. And this requires you and the battery to be at the station.”
To be continued……