Can you get me out of this mess?
“Look Cat, this is all very well but please, just take a look at me. I’m speaking gibberish, as far as I’m concerned anyway, and, I’ve got a tail. A tail. ANDDDD….I’m missing essential equipment in the form of my ‘willy’. Can you please get this story to some sort of conclusion that might actually tell me how the mess I’m in is going to get ‘unmessed’?”
“I was coming to that,” said Cat, “but I have to say again it’s hard for me to empathise as my experience of you is one of a human who specialises in speaking gibberish all the time and I also really don’t understand all the fuss about your missing equipment. Alright, I can kind of see how inconvenient having such a large tail might be. I mean tails are very important tools but I personally prefer the rather more mobile, small tail that I have. I’d hate to have one as big as yours.”
“It’s not MINE,” I yelled at Cat, “that’s the cursed point.”
“Alright, alright,” said Cat, “I understand. When it comes to tails I do understand. Also, I can assure you that the Ethereals have worked for years now to develop methods to correct any mistakes that do arise from the accidental movement and scrambling of biological organisms. This is why they have sorting stations like this one, to correct the occasional error that arises when biological matter gets accidentally moved or, as in your case, moved and scrambled.”
“All very interesting,” I said, “but tell me, how do you actually talk to the Ethereals?”
“lt’s like this ,” said Cat, “like most things, including you, it’s really quite simple. I just tuned my radio wave receiver until I hit the frequency that they transmit their thoughts at. Then I got my universal translator array to crunch the numbers and came up quite quickly with a way to communicate with them.”
“Right, so how do I communicate with them?” I asked.
“Hmmm,” said Cat, “I’m not entirely sure I understand why you should need to communicate with them but should this be required, you are welcome to communicate via me.”
Rage stirred instantly inside me and, in ‘borderline’ apoplectic mode, I promptly exploded.
To be continued…….