Where’s my Willy?
Suddenly, something seriously scary struck me. Where was my willy? In the fastest reflex reaction since Spaceman Steve outdrew the OuterSpace Oktopuss in the Black Hole Battle for the Brown Dwarf, what a great movie that was, I clutched fearfully with both hands between my legs. I then cried out loud as I realised there was nothing there and sank to my knees holding what felt like a very very very pre-pubescent lower abdomen. Sinking to my knees was not the best thing to do in the circumstances as I was now kneeling in what was apparently my own puddle of extremely pungent pee.
As my nose screwed up in horror, the obviously bad news about my willy rattled around the limbic part of my brain, or at least I presumed it was still my brain. The emotional shock manifested itself in what can only be described as a glass shattering, almost operatic howl.
As I screamed, Cat hovered much higher than usual and moved back away from me, whiskers flared. It was unusual for him to exhibit shock but he seemed genuinely surprised by the noise I managed to emit.
“What on Planet Pzzxamix was that noise? I’ve never heard anything like it,” cried Cat, “honestly, that was enough to waken the Dead of Dardalus 14. Was it really necessary?”
I tried to speak a reply but even in the gutteral Mudlizard gibberish language I was speaking it came out quite screechily as,
“I’ve lost my willy. I’ve lost my willy. You’re a robot Cat of indeterminate sex, if indeed robots have sex, I mean ‘a sex’. You simply wouldn’t understand how vitally important a willy can be to a chap.”
At least, that’s what I heard in my head. As I say it all came out of my mouth as Mudlizard gibberish and I have no idea if there was a word in Mudlizard for willy, especially as I had no idea if Mudlizards had such items of personal equipment. If they did it certainly wasn’t obvious to me, at this point, where it might be.
Anyway Cat seemed to get what I had screeched as he responded,
“I think a penis can hardly be considered to be an essential. At least not in the 23rd Century on Earth. Ask any gynaecologist and I feel sure they would agree with me.”
To be continued……….