Da-Hah-Winian Rabbit

This isn’t actually a rabbit at all. A rabbit, as we all know, is furry, has long floppy ears and hops. A Da-Hah-Winian rabbit is furry, but walks on all fours and has quite small pointy ears. It never, as far as anyone has ever observed, hops.

Native to the planet Kimkadia, Da-Hah-Winian rabbits are actually called Blijars on Kimkadia. Adopted quickly as pets by early Earth visitors to Kimkadia, some were brought back to Earth and became very popular with children. However, the name Blijars didn’t knock the socks off marketing companies who  came up with the name ‘Da-Hah-Winian Rabbit’ because:

a) Kimkadians learning Earth language tended to call everything that wasn’t human or a Kimkadian a rabbit because rabbits were pets that the first astronauts landing on Kimkadia had with them

b) The very first ‘contact’ Kimkadia had with Earth was via a ‘greetings capsule’ that had entered the Kimkadian atmosphere in the early 22nd Century. That contained a slightly corrupted aircast that referred to Darwinian theory, but unfortunately gave the impression that Darwin was God and therefore the creator of all species on Earth.  This led to Kimkadians adopting phrases like ‘Great Darwin’ or ‘Good Darwin’ whenever they tried to express surprise in English. In addition, they took for some reason to greeting new humans with the phrase ‘Praise be to Darwin’ and then eventually preceding almost every sentence with the same.

c) Finally, Kimkadians constantly introduced ‘Hah!’ into almost every phrase or sometimes every Earth word they spoke. This not only led to Da-Ha-Win but also Da-Ha-Winian. It also made Kimkadian conversations very long and tedious.

Anyway, out of all that the marketing experts came up with Da-Ha-Winian rabbit, a pet now popular as much on Earth as Kimkadia.

Planet X

Planet X is a deeply mysterious place in the Universe. First discovered around 2085 by the Virgin Galaxy Deep Space Probe, no ‘being’ from Earth has ever actually been there. This is partly because Planet X keeps changing its celestial position quite markedly but primarily because it is shrouded in thick gaseous clouds. To this day even the composition of those clouds remains largely unknown and no space probe that has entered the planet’s upper atmosphere has ever returned intact. Planet X is now followed through the cosmos by Virgin Beacons that denote it as a ‘no-go’ area.

On occasion ships passing near to Planet X have received communication signals, strongly suggesting the existences of some advanced civilisation. Three manned missions have all ended in apparent disaster, with each ship disappearing and none of the astronauts ever being seen or heard of again.

The one exception was the Locator 27 space probe, that returned some biological matter to it’s orbiting mother ship. DNA subsequently extracted from this sample led to the birth of the now famous hybrid, Joosthava X Minot.

Commssters

Commssters were one of 2 principal races living on the planet Zizzdum, the other being the Faxons. Commsters were quite gentle humanoid beings and possessed quite remarkable telekinetic powers. Their heads were very large, to accommodate the rather large brain that they had and they had very long arms that almost could touch their equivalent of toes with little bending required. They loved to flap their arms about in a very animated fashion when communicating, a characteristic that had the first human explorers resort to wearing protective headgear to avoid getting unintentional, but hard, slaps around the back of the head.

With their telekinetic powers, they could control the movement of objects and make them disappear and re-appear at will. Though generally quite shy, Commssters loved the fact that early human visitors were so enthralled by their little tricks. Due to this, they developed a number of magic acts to entertain settlers from Earth on Zizzdum. A handful of Commssters have, in the years that they have been in contact with humans, become confident enough to offer traveling shows that visit outposts and space stations across the universe. They looked resplendent in their glittery clothes and pointy magic hats.

The Commssters have no name for themselves and no one is sure anymore why they are called Commssters . It is believed that the name derives from the first Commssters who tried to speak Earth language, inviting settlers into their shows with loud cries of ‘Come Sir’. They called all humans ‘Sir’ as Commssters were a) gender neutral and preferred short words where they could get them. However, their somewhat guttural interpretation of Earth language made it sound like Commsster. Well, at least that’s what my Great-Granny used to tell me and she knew a heck of a lot more than Cosmopedia about the old days.

I was also told by an old friend that they were called Commssters because they made people laugh at the way they communicated animatedly without actually saying anything and had a habit of bringing their hands, at the end of their very long arms, up to each side of their mouths and making clicking noises as their hands moved, reminding people of hamsters. Actually, thinking about it that sounds a bit more like kangeroos than hamsters. Maybe I’ll propose a name change to the Inter-Galactic Panel for the Naming of Extra-Terrestrials from Commssters to Kangeroosters!! Or maybe not……

Sinosovurean

One of the earliest other planets discovered with human-like life forms during The Discovery Period of 2150 – 2200 was Sovurea. The planet had previously been identified as an Earth-Analog and a friendly and advanced civilisation there warmly welcomed the first humans who arrived  from the China Space Academy.

Image of planet

As it turned out the Sovureans were remarkably similar to rabbits on Earth (not in looks but certain other habits…..) and the first astronauts from China who landed there founded the Sinosovurean dynasty at remarkable speed. No one is sure they meant too, but mating for a Sovurean is a bit like a handshake is to us Earthlings, so they didn’t really have much choice.

How do you say PZZSXAMIX?

Actually its quite easy really. It’s pronounced PUZZ-AXE-A-MIX. I learned that from Cat just as I was saving his life (once again) on this far away and very dusty planet. Pzzsxamix was a Bryllium mining planet but it was also home to the evil Mr Snosrap who was not only avoiding paying his galactic taxes but was also smuggling radioactive substances. I soon put a stop to his dirty dealings.

picture of planet Pzzsxamix

And where was this planet? Well nowhere near Alpha Centauri, which was where mission control told us to go before turning left. Useless lot.

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