Who’s in Charge Here?
Not too long after those words, I’d fallen down a very very very deep hole in the bed of the now almost dried up Old Father Thames. I remember hearing Cat shouting ‘you brainless twerp’ before his voice, even at the volume he was yelling at, faded to nothing as I continued to plummet downward.
When we had climbed out of the hovercar, which Cat had landed on the bascule of the original bridge, we had been met by the Commander of the Bridge District’s security force. He saluted, though I had the distinct impression he was saluting Cat rather than me. I was getting used to and frankly, more and more irritated by this kind of behaviour from people. So I decided to assert myself and take authoritative charge. That was a big mistake.
“So Commander,” I said in the deepest, sternest voice I could muster, “I am the Inspector and in charge of this operation.”
I heard Cat yawn and also thought I heard him say, in between the numerous ‘yawny’ noises, ‘Operation?. Silly ass. Needs an operation to get a partner for his brain cell’.
I ignored what I thought I’d heard, determined to continue in the assertion of my authority.
“If you could please point me in the direction of the hole Commander, I’ll look into it.”
Cat literally guffawed at this and as I realised what I’d said I could feel my face flush as I clarified,
“Well I don’t mean look into the hole as such. Though I might. What I actually mean is look into the situation obviously,” I babbled.
I then collected myself, cleared my throat, stood tall and returned to my deep stern voice which was actually an impersonation, I realised, of RickRock, the star of ‘The Universe Awaits’. This was one of the most popular aircast soaps ever and I was a huge fan of Rick’s. Or at least I had been a big fan. Unfortunately, since his public persona had disgraced itself with a virtual shopping attendant it had been quite hard to openly like Rick. Anyways, in my best ‘Rick’ voice and stature I returned to being in charge saying to the Commander,
“The hole, Commander. The hole. Where is it? I am busy you know. I have other Earth critical missions to attend to.”
To be continued…….